Welcome! You have reached the page of Mathias Mesmer, a somewhat obscure intellectual of the 24th Century who lived in the Greater Douglass Commonwealth Republic (present-day DC, as well as parts of Virginia and Maryland, in the former United States). He appeared to have an unusual fascination with the culture and society of 20th Century America for some strange reason.
Mesmer was probably a pen name, but we know little about this writer, except that his primary profession was that of a low-level programmer of robot chinchillas. His interests apparently included Tarot cards (which previous cultures used to determine when to clean the refrigerator and whose turn it was to take out the trash), plant medicines (not clear if these were medicines used by plants or plants used as medicines), and Oxford commas (although it is unclear what “Oxford” was, most scholars these days believe it was an underground fish ‘n’ chips operation run by the Mafia. Still, an Oxford comma is better than an Oxford coma). He also appears to have belonged to a cult that believed that one could achieve harmony and happiness by “becoming a plant.”1
His extant collected works are few, but intriguing. They are presented here for the first time in one collection, for your enlightenment, entertainment, or perhaps just something to wile away the time and stave off boredom.
- be a plant
- Lazy Sunday Morning
- Foam Is Sexy
- A Feline’s Comfort
- Basmati Rice
- The Vampire Squid From Hell
- Listening to Silence: The Promise of the High Priestess
- Over the Edge of the Moon: Falling Down to Rise Up
- The Water Behind the Veil and the Juggle of Life
1. Plants, (God), and Humanity as Fulcrum to Understanding the Universe: The 100% Real and Official Bible of Plantitude, New Madrid: Foojpliggin Press, 2345, p. 78,562.